Watching out for your Wellbeing

Covid-19 presents unprecedented situations for organisations and some have really stepped up to provide emotional support for their employees.  We were lucky enough to present a series of workshops on ‘Watching out for your Wellbeing’ to participants in the UK, USA, Thailand and the Far East.  It was fascinating to see the resonance of stories, concerns and underlying stress from such diverse cultures and demographics.  Taking care of each other and being aware of signs of mental ill health is such an important consideration for us all.

On the back of this we contributed to an article to support mental health in the workplace that was published by FM Financial Management.  Here’s a short snippet:

Worried about a colleague’s mental health and wellbeing?

By Jessica Hubbard

While governments around the world work to contain the outbreak of COVID-19, health professionals are warning of a simmering mental health crisis. The pandemic has induced deep seated fear and anxiety, which for many has been exacerbated by the loneliness and isolation of lockdowns. For people with existing mental health challenges, such as depression, today’s climate of anxiety and uncertainty can be cruel and unforgiving .  

“Co-workers are in a position to notice telling changes in behaviour and habits that can be symptoms of distress or mental health challenges, such as nervous twitches, an unkempt appearance or frequently missed deadlines when someone is normally reliable.” “Anxiety increases through the perceived lack of knowledge, the more information people have, the more resilient they can be in the face of stress and uncertainty.”  "Communicate consistently and listen carefully. Within the isolation of virtual working and reduced social interactions many people hide their vulnerabilities behind professional personas." 

“In this environment, human connection is deeply needed – so it is important to offer your colleague opportunities for connection by reaching out regularly and listening attentively,” explained Åse Greenacre, co-founder of MRT Consultants.

If you’d like to read the full article, here it is:

https://www.fm-magazine.com/news/2020/aug/colleagues-mental-wellbeing-coronavirus.html

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Today is World Suicide Prevention Day...

I wonder what you were doing today and if you knew it was ‘World Suicide Prevention Day’? Did you pause and have a think about it - look at some news or educational articles? Pick up the phone and call someone to check in with them?

It’s an extremely troubling and sad fact that every 40 seconds someone takes their own life worldwide. In that same time frame, another 20 people attempt suicide. And the circles of people affected by these actions is enormous.

I often wonder why in the year 2020, when we can pick up the phone and call anyone at a moment’s notice when the world is seemingly so connected and accessible, there are still people who feel so alone, vulnerable and stranded with their thoughts and emotions. I firmly believe it is each and every one of our responsibility to care for each other and make a difference. To reach out and connect and ‘work together to prevent suicide’.

I joined the ‘Mental Health and Wellbeing Show’ this morning and it was truly humbling listening to testimonials from people who have struggled with suicidal thoughts and attempts. Something one of the speakers said really stayed with me. He said that with all the battles that he faces he lives by a simple mantra: 'I live for what difference I can make today'. It sounds so simple and yet it has the capacity to be life-changing for both yourself and others. Instead of worrying about the next thing, the next day, the things outside of your control, focus on the simplest thing that you can do today to make a difference - to your life or others. One step at a time. One small difference each day.

After listing to this webinar I popped down to a local charity shop to buy my personal ‘wellbeing tool’ - a jigsaw puzzle and as I was leaving I noticed a woman looking upset in the corner. Turns out the card payment machine wasn’t working and she was £2 short to buy her item. I gave her two coins and she was extremely grateful and rushed to pay. I was at my car when she came out and I saw her walk up to a lady with a child in a pram and hand them the item. The mum broke into the biggest smile and I could hear the child’s animated voice and I couldn’t stop smiling too. My small difference (giving £2 to a stranger) seems to have had an effect on several people - and I have a feeling that positive effect will continue.

Make a difference - no matter how small - and make it today.

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An interview in FM, published by the Association of International Certified Professional Accountants,

Worried about a colleague's mental wellbeing?

Here's how to approach a struggling co-worker in a safe, supportive, and professional way.By Jessica HubbardToday

While governments around the world work to contain the COVID-19 outbreak, health professionals are warning of a simmering mental health crisis. The pandemic has induced prolonged fear and anxiety, which for many has been exacerbated by the loneliness and isolation of lockdowns. For people with existing mental health challenges, such as depression, today's climate of uncertainty can be especially fraught.

Given this context of heightened stress and vulnerability, it is critical to develop an awareness of one's own mental health — as well as the psychological wellbeing of peers and colleagues. In the coming months, some finance professionals may face the grim reality of retrenchments and reduced pay, which could place further stress on relationships and households. Managers and co-workers can offer an important source of support and guidance through such a difficult period, provided they have the knowledge and awareness to do so.

"Co-workers are in a position to notice telling changes in behaviour and habits that can be symptoms of distress or mental health challenges," explained Åse Greenacre, co-founder of MRT Consultants, a UK-based mental health consultancy. "If you believe there are real grounds for concern, your role is to provide support and consistency — you are not there to diagnose or advise."

We spoke to Greenacre and Colinda Linde, D.Litt. et Phil., a clinical psychologist based in South Africa, to learn how to approach a colleague whom you are concerned about, as well as how to provide ongoing support.

Take a gentle approach. If you have noticed significant behavioural cues and signs of distress in a colleague, such as increased absences or uncharacteristic errors, Linde said that the first step is to make contact in a nonintrusive, private, and respectful way — avoiding any actions that could be interpreted as interfering or aggressive. You should also be prepared for some form of resistance and even the outright rejection of your help.

"When approaching your colleague, it is important to give a clear message upfront that you are approaching him or her out of concern for their wellbeing," Linde explained. "You can bring up the actual workplace performance or areas of concern a bit later, once you have established that you are there in support and to find out if you can help."

Show support with thoughtful language. When approaching a colleague out of concern, Greenacre emphasised the importance of using thoughtful language and avoiding confrontational questions. For example, instead of asking, "Why is your work not getting finished?", use neutral language such as, "I notice that you haven't been able to complete your usual tasks this week. Do you need any help?"

"In these scenarios, I find it better to pick up the phone and speak to a co-worker without the visuals of videoconference," Greenacre said. "People often find it harder to articulate and be honest about what they are experiencing if they feel that everything is being scrutinised onscreen. Also, it is easier to pick up on nuances in tone of voice when two people are speaking and listening to each other without visuals."

Encourage co-workers to use the resources and support available. As a manager or co-worker, you should never go behind a colleague's back and diagnose them (thereby making assumptions) or alert HR professionals and leaders to a mental health issue.

"Instead, after asking your colleague what he or she might need from you (practical or emotional support, for example), encourage your co-worker to review her options and the structured channels of support that are available," Linde explained.

There may be an employee assistance programme, for example, or a company wellness policy online that details all the support and resources available to employees. By encouraging the use of these resources, you can give your colleague a sense of having more control over his or her own situation — instead of feeling helpless and unsupported.

"Anxiety increases through the perceived lack of knowledge," Greenacre added. "The more information people have, the more resilient they can be in the face of stress and uncertainty."

Communicate consistently and listen carefully. Within the isolation of virtual working and reduced social interactions, Greenacre highlighted that many people are potentially hiding their vulnerabilities behind professional personas. It's important to respect others' boundaries by listening carefully for how much communication and help they are signalling that they need.

"In this environment, human connection is deeply needed — so it is important to offer your colleague opportunities for connection by reaching out regularly and listening attentively," Greenacre said. "When interacting with someone who is struggling with mental wellbeing, you must keep the communication going and be consistent in how and when you reach out."

This consistency is essential, so if you're not able to keep up the contact, then make sure that someone else within the organisation will be contacting the individual and providing support on a regular basis, Greenacre advised.

— Jessica Hubbard is a freelance writer based in South Africa. To comment on this article or to suggest an idea for another article, contact Drew Adamek, an FM magazine senior editor, at Andrew.Adamek@aicpa-cima.com.

Sitting...and sitting...and sitting...what's the down side?

A friend of mine posted a blog from THE MENTAL ELF by Susie Rudge and it looked at the impact that our sedentary lifestyle has on our mental health. It discussed the difference between complete inactivity vs moderate inactivity:

“In their paper, Hallgren et al. (2019) define TV watching as a passive sedentary behaviour. They set out to ascertain the impact on depression of replacing this with either:

  • Mentally active sedentary behaviour (e.g. sitting in a meeting, reading)

  • Light physical activity (e.g. walking) or

  • Moderate-to-vigorous physical activity (e.g. jogging, swimming).”

They make the link between taking charge of your ‘sedentary lifestyle’ and any depressive or low mood conditions you may experience. The conclusion they reached is:

“Conclusions

The authors concluded that passive sedentary behaviours may increase the risk of depression in adults and that substituting completely passive sedentary behaviour (e.g. taking a bath, watching TV, listening to music) with mentally active sedentary behaviour (e.g. knitting, sitting in a meeting, office work), light physical activity (e.g. walking) and moderate to vigorous physical activity (e.g. jogging, swimming) may reduce the risk of depression symptoms occurring in adults.

Mentally active sedentary behaviour may function as a protective factor in that it could reduce the opportunity for negative thought processes. Moreover, physical activity is known to reduce stress hormones and increase positive neurological processes thought to influence and regulate mood in humans.”

So take a look around you and see what you are doing during your day, what your family is doing, friends and colleagues. Try and encourage as much variety as possible to avoid a purely sedentary day, especially if you or someone you know is prone to periods of low mood or depression.

If you’d like to read the full blog here it is: https://www.nationalelfservice.net/mental-health/depression/sedentary-behaviour-increase-likelihood-developing-major-depression/

Keep active!

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Emotional intelligence - what is that about?

What makes a person a good co worker to be around? Why do some people get on with ‘everyone’ and some don’t?

Emotional intelligence can be one of the reasons. A person who is emotionally intelligent tends to read people and situations better than others and can therefore also handle them in a different way.

Their ability to handle situations well is now recognised as a top skill by companies.

In a 2011 Career Builder Survey of more than 2,600 hiring managers and human resource professionals, 71% stated they valued emotional intelligence in an employee over IQ; 75% said they were more likely to promote a highly emotionally intelligent worker; and 59% claimed they’d pass up a candidate with a high IQ but low emotional intelligence.

So what is all of this about? What qualities does a person with high emotional intelligence possess? Can they be learnt?

Yes, I do believe we can learn to become emotionally intelligent. Some have it naturally and others have to learn. In order to learn, you have to be motivated and understand why this is important.

Emotional intelligence definition: ’ the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.’

According to Daniel Goleman , an American psychologist who helped to popularise emotional intelligence, there are five key elements to it:

  • Self-awareness. - ‘ What am I feeling and what is my part?’

  • Self-regulation. - Write a journal and gratitude journal regularly.

  • Motivation. - What do I want in my life and why? What difference will it make? Create a mind map that you can see daily.

  • Empathy. - Who do you know that is empathic, what do they do and how do they make you feel? Watch and learn and demonstrate.

  • Social skills. - How do you reach out to others and how often? How do you interact? Yet again, do you have someone you admire to learn from?

When someone has high emotional intelligence, they can put aside another persons attacks or behaviour as they understand it’s not about them but the person who is doing it. They don’t take it personally and can differentiate between useful and nasty criticism or feedback and learn from it.

As most things we learn, it takes time and practise which means understanding and implementing these skills as often as one can. Eventually they become second nature and part of us.

MRT Consultants offer training to help with these skills.

Please DM or e-mail for further information!

Wish you all a great continuous summer wherever you are!

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Back to the office we go?

How are things going for your company? For yourself? Your family? Your friends?

The uncertainty of late is the biggest obstacle for many to be able to move forward. How will my kids be looked after if I have to go to the office? What are the expectations of my employer? Can my partner and I share the time away from home? Do I feel safe going on public transport and exposing myself and my family to the virus? WHEN WILL THIS STOP???

The unknown is still around and how we deal with this varies from person to person. In my group of friends it is very obvious. Some are happy to meet indoors and even hug, others won’t. Some want to continue to work from home but feel forced to go back to the workplace as they don’t have a valid reason to shield. Others can’t wait to get out and see their workmates. Some will stay at home as long as they are allowed and feel happy about it. There is no one solution that fits all.

So what do we do? Who decides what employees should do? A lot of people would say the company has the right to say what they need and have expectations that their staff should adhere to. They pay their salaries after all.

Then again, if staff is forced to go back into the office, what kind of atmosphere and work environment will this create?

There is no straight forward answer to this. Each company will have to work this out together with their staff. Where there are clients involved, they might need a say in it as well.

The overall thing we all agree on is that the economy needs to get back up and the only way this will happen is if we all engage in any way we can.

At MRT Consultants, we help companies and their staff to get through this by encouraging effective communication, understanding individual needs and self-care. This in turn leads to staff feeling seen and heard and leaders enabling change based on needs of staff rather than just walking all over them.

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What does the 'new normal' mean?

After a 100 days in lockdown, things are starting to change slowly but surely. What will this mean to us? Are we ready to go back to normal or whatever it will be?

There has been a lot in the news about anxiety and shielding. Some people are scared to go to work and don’t know what to do. Whose responsibility is it to ensure people are looked after and feeling safe in going back to work?

There are many arguments around this including the government and the employers. What about the people themselves? What do they need in order to get back to work? What are their responsibilities?

As employers are struggling in many ways to keep their businesses going, what expectations do employees have? Should the company allow staff to work from home if this in an option? For how long? How does it affect the bottom line?

There is no easy answer to these questions. It seems like many companies are asking their staff for their thoughts and feelings around all of this. Wherever it’s possible, staff will continue to work from home but then again, there are many people who prefer to go to the office or workplace.

We must bear in mind the different aspects of employees and their needs. Many are younger and live in shared accommodation and don’t have the space to work comfortably from home. Parents find it hard to work because young children are around and the disruption is too much. Others might just need to get away as there are other factors (like violence) at home.

Whatever the reasons are, they are all valid and must be heard and respected. However, if it comes down to staying afloat and not losing the company, we must be supportive. A lot of businesses have not survived this pandemic and many people have lost their jobs and their lives.

Like so many times, communication is the key to work out these situations. It has to start at the top and trickle down to every person. When a message is clear and backed up, change is easier to accept.

Our webinar ‘Back to the ‘new normal’ touches on these matters. It applies to staff as well as managers and provides tips and tools surrounding going back to work. Uncertainty will cause anxiety in many so what do we need in order to function?

If you have any questions, please let us know. Happy to chat!

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Staying home...'love in action'...

We’ve had a great few weeks of delivering webinars focusing on how to find the positives and opportunities to thrive during these times of social isolation. Throughout all the discussions we’ve had a few positives seem to be recurring themes:

  • people are exercising more

  • people are sleeping longer

  • people are feeling more connected to their immediate neighbours and communities

  • people are learning more

  • many people are enjoying the time at home without the commute to work

  • people are feeling more grounded (probably the result of the baking & gardening taking place)

  • people are feeling gratitude

Despite individual situations and concerns, these positives are having a direct impact on people’s physical and mental health. Yes, there are frustrations, fears and anxieties - but the leveling playing field seems to be the knowledge that everyone is in this together and no one has been singled out. The current situation is affecting everyone - globally - and this seems to give it a sense of normalcy that helps to reduce escalating anxiety.

I have been supporting a group over the past 8 weeks that has been focused on addressing anxiety and depression with a toolkit of physical activity, mental health and nutrition advice. It has been remarkable to witness the journey that many of the participants have traveled and seen the power that group support and accountability has. A journey I would highly recommend: Recognise, Reset & Rebuild https://www.facebook.com/groups/rrr2020/

This sentiment of ‘we can do this together’ is so fantastically summed up in this saying posted by the COVID-19 response team in Belfast. This was a campaign launched to get people to see that the stay-at-home decree was not the end of the world - but in fact the ‘greatest act of love’ the world has ever seen.

From our point of view - we all need each other even more than ever. We need the human connection, the feeling of community and the tools to manage our mental health and to support those around us.

We’ve just heard that Mental Health First Aid Courses will now be possible to deliver online - so we’ll be offering training from the end of the month for those who want to continue their areas of growth into accreditation as a Mental Health First Aider.

Keep safe!

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How are different personality types coping with social distancing?

We’re getting used to being physically and socially distanced from people.  While we all know and understand the reasoning and value behind it – it doesn’t mean that we are finding it easy.  But there are definitely some personality types that are finding it easier than others!

Some people feel like they are literally in solitary confinement whereas others are actually relishing the time alone.  Is this because some people are naturally introverts who thrive in quieter more 1-1 situations?  Or is it something more?

On the basis of nature and biology, humans are social creatures who are designed to thrive in groups and rely on each other for survival. This is where the phrase ‘strength in numbers’ evolved from as well as the laws of natural selection.  Although the world is vastly different from these primitive survival days, we still have an instinct to remain close to other people.  It is one of our basic human needs for connection.

When we are in a situation where proximity to others is removed, our bodies will naturally respond with a level of stress.  As with all stress, we experience the adrenaline that fuels the flight or fight response. However, being in isolation adds another risk - loneliness. Loneliness is one of the most powerful mental and emotional stressors often manifesting in increased anxiety and depression. With no sign of social distancing ending, this stress is likely to increase, so if you know of someone who is experiencing added loneliness at this time - please be extra mindful and vigilant of their mental health.

But then there are those who seem to be thoroughly happy with the social isolation situation. It’s often found that someone who enjoyed playing alone as a child – will continue to thrive when they are isolated from others as an adult. They often present with better mental health and don’t experience ‘FOMO’ (fear of missing out) as intensely as others do and they may also seem to be more grounded.  The upside of this behaviour is often more focus and creativity and self-discipline.

So, even if you’re a person who just loves being with others, take this time to tap into your other side.  Allow yourself the time to really hone your focus and self-awareness skills.  Use the time for reflection and learning and get in touch with your thoughts, feelings and what really makes you happy.  Do you enjoy time with yourself?  If not – why not?   How is your relationship with yourself?  What is your sense-of-self and are you happy with all aspects of yourself?  Do you value yourself?

Important questions – hope you’ll take time to answer them.

Remember – you are the one person you can be sure you will always have in your life!

 

 

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And the weeks tick by....

We are all now well and truly entrenched in physical and social distancing and for many people this means working from home.   All sorts of new thoughts, feelings and stressors are joining our lives.

In our business, we have really noticed significant changes in the last few weeks from the initial panic and shock and distinct fear that many people were verbalising, to increased anxiety and anger at the situation.  Clients are asking for support for their staff who are feeling increased levels of stress and anxiety with this isolation.  Many are finding the unknown and uncertainty around the end date for COVID-19 extremely unsettling. These feelings parallel the loss cycle that many people experience with grief and understanding this will help you (and others) to normalise these feelings and realise that having such extreme reactions is part of a process of coming to terms with what is no longer.  The important thing is to keep moving through the stages until you are able to find acceptance and a way to move forward.   This requires effort, energy and intention.

There was a very interesting virtual talk (Getahead Festival) last week on stress and how it relates to energy.  How energy cycles in turn feed back into stress and when this stress becomes a ‘struggle’, you are effectively incapable of making clear decisions or having clear thoughts.  It’s imperative to find relief from this struggle in order to close the cycle of stress.  Tools that are essential for this are sleep (where you body and mind can recover from stress); exercise, talking; journaling; touch or hugging; breathing; vision; music or sharing.  Our brain’s natural default is social cognition, so for us to re-group and re-charge, we need to allow it to make these social connections.

Just a few things to think about as we battle on through the coming weeks.

Stay safe and let us know if we can help in any way: ase@mrtconsultants.co.uk

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Expectations and communication, how is that going?

These weeks of lockdown have been challenging for lots of people. Being so close and not getting away for the majority of the day takes its toll. Also, if you are on your own at home, that is also a different matter. You can feel even more isolated when not seeing or touching other people.

Personally, I’ve realised I’m a quite tactile person and I miss those hugs and greetings with friends and in particular, my children. There are lots of people who are less tactile and find it hard in situations when those kind of greetings are the norm. Lucky you, for now.

Most of us with kids know that the summer holidays can feel really long at times but at least we can generally at least do things away from home and involve other family or friends etc.

So, what do we do now? How do we cope and work better together to stay sane?

There are lots of ideas flying around so find out what works for you and your family and give it a try.

Communication is the biggest factor in all of this. What are your expectations of each other? How do you decide the way forward?

We tend to make assumptions a lot of the time and this can get in the way when the other person has not understood what you meant.

Clarifying your own needs is important and also listening to others without judging. What might seem ridiculous to you, might be really important to them.

Have family meetings and plan the week together. Who will cook? Who will clean? Who will wash up? Laundry? Shopping? Etc, etc, etc.

Everyone can help in one way or another. The kids are part of this and they are able to do more than we think. Also, when encouraged and allowed, this gives them a sense of achievement which in turn boosts their self-esteem.

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Lots of feelings of anxiety and loss…

Anxiety in children is a very real fear for them – and it all centres around emotion.  The younger the child, the less able they are to understand locus of control – in other words what is happening to them outside of their control and what is within their control. 

One of the best ways to help children is to model the behaviour, the thoughts and the coping skills.  Start off by making sure that you are calm yourself.  Voice the concerns by naming the emotion.  Eg ‘It’s really worrying not knowing what is happening out there in the world at the moment’ or ‘It’s scary not being able to see people and do normal things’ or ‘It makes me feel different and frightened…’  Then ask them how they are feeling.  If a child feels that what they are feeling is shared with others, it reduces their anxiety because it normalises their feelings

You would then continue the modelling by moving from naming the fears and anxieties to a place where you start to find a ‘new normal’ for now – keeping the language around…’we can’t do this YET, but we can do this’… or ‘the time we can’t do this WILL PASS, so for now we need to change things a bit and do it this way’.

This is closely linked to the feelings of loss.  There are many students who have had to deal with an abrupt and completely altered end to their schooling careers or end of year exams.  Keep a close eye on University students too as they are a high risk group for mental health concerns. All students will be feeling degrees of loss.  For some, they may still be reeling from shock, denial and anger and others could already be feeling down with a very low mood.  There will also be some who have moved into acceptance of the situation. 

Wherever your children are in the cycle, the most important thing as a parent is to validate their feelings and listen to them. Don’t try and fix things or minimise the impact by saying ‘it doesn’t matter’ or ‘don’t worry you can always redo your exams’ or ‘at least you’re not ill’.  This won’t help them.  You need to empathise and acknowledge how they’re feeling but then work with them to move them through the cycle so they don’t get stuck. 

It may be that  you need to get on the phone to other parents and find out how they are coping with their children; it may be you need to give a teenager space and an outlet for their anger (think drums or a boxing bag). You may need to call the school and speak to someone in the pastoral team.   Keep a close eye on their eating, sleep and hygiene.  If you notice changes this could be an indication that they are getting depressed and may need additional help. 

Try to help them find something positive in their day, their week and the current situation.  Keep connecting with them and find value in the close proximity and time you have together – it truly is unique. 

If you’re worried, remember you can always call the Samaritans: https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/

 

 

 

 

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Have you got bored kids?

We hope you are keeping yourselves safe and indoors as we all entrench ourselves in this period of physical isolation. It’s been a few weeks now and many people have been able to get a routine established in their lives, but for many - boredom is setting in.

Children have, to a large degree, been occupied through virtual schooling until this week. Now the Easter holidays are here! What are you going to do to keep your kids occupied so you can continue to manage your day and work commitments?

Children, by nature, love to learn. They thrive when they can develop, explore, connect and engage with activities. Watching TV all day is actually not what they instinctively want or need. So here are some ideas to help them over the next few weeks:

Above all, stay indoors. Stay Safe. Stay connected.

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Some practical tips for working @ home...

Amidst all the uncertainty and fear that is prevailing in the UK and world at the moment, working from home is causing additional stressors.

Today, Mental Health First Aid England has launched its ‘Your Whole Self’ campaign with the tag line ‘Bring your whole self to work - wherever that may be’.

it’s a great read with a lot of practical ideas for how to cope in these trying times:

Åse and I will be posting tips and ideas on how to get through the days in isolation or working from home and will be offering webinars to keep teams talking and together.

Get in touch to find out more. ase@mrtconsultants.co.uk www.mrtconsultants.co.uk

Stay safe!

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What is the Corona virus threat doing to us?

It’s all around us. The fear of getting ill and/or being away from work, possible financial difficulties. Our elderly and vulnerable getting ill and not surviving. The shops running out of food, no medicine available and getting stuck. The list goes on.

What has the impact been so far? How are you coping with the unknown?

A lot of us have tendencies to catastrophise and expect the worse. What can we do to be in a better headspace?

‘Catastrophising, or catastrophic thinking, is a form of negative thinking where a person thinks the worst about a situation,’ explains cognitive behavioural therapist Marie McGeechan of The Albany Centre. ‘This can lead to unhelpful emotions such as stress or anxiety, and can become a problem if not addressed.’ The tendency to catastrophise can be linked back to early experiences, which shape the way we think. ‘It can also be exacerbated by particular situations and emotional states,’ Marie says. ‘For instance, when we’re feeling depressed, we have a negative view on things which can lead to an increased likelihood of catastrophising. ‘Similarly, if we feel anxious, we tend to overestimate the chances of something bad happening, while also underestimating our ability to cope.’

The skill of living in the now and accepting that we can’t control everything around us is a good one to have.

What is really in your control? How can you help yourself to stay healthy?

I think most of us have read up on all precautions and are doing as much as we can in that regard. So, as far as the mental side of things goes, here is a good article from Psychology today to read as the principal of thinking is the same, no matter what the fear is about:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/friendship-20/201611/5-ways-stop-catastrophizing

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The more voices - the louder the message....

A colleague posted this really interesting article by HR NEWS. This is something Åse and I are equally passionate about and feel very encouraged to know that HR and those in senior positions are joining the call for mental health to be part of corporate policy and training in companies.

Bosses urged to sent staff on ‘Mental Health first aid’ courses

A lawyer specialising in employment law has called on bosses to send staff on “mental health first aid courses” to help support colleagues in the workplace. 

Gillian McAteer, head of employment law and HR at Citation, offers around the clock support to companies looking to improve their work practices.

And now, Gillian is calling on bosses to improve mental health support in the workplace – by sending staff on first aid courses specialising in non-judgmental listening and spotting triggers of mental health problems.

Gillian said: “Mental health is one of the biggest issues facing the UK workforce today. Workplace stress coupled with the struggles of everyday life means around 59% of workers now suffer from a mental health condition, yet bosses often fail to recognise when employees are struggling.

“Mental health is a broad church and can range from depression, to borderline personality disorders, and eating problems, to loneliness, anxiety, paranoia, and stress. 

“Our Citation research shows the majority of the UK workforce is now living with a mental health condition of some sort, and bosses have a legal obligation to support and protect employees experiencing mental health problems.

“One thing we have done at Citation is recruit Mental Health First Aiders amongst the workforce. It’s the same, in theory, as a traditional First Aider, but the focus is on topics surrounding mental health.

“Whether someone is feeling stressed, anxious, or is struggling with a more chronic mental health issue, our Mental Health First Aiders are here to spot the signs and reach out to provide support and assistance, whether it’s offering a shoulder to cry on or guiding people to further support through the NHS or charities.”

Research from the Health and Safety Executive (HSE) shows a staggering 11 million days are lost at work every year because of workplace stress. By placing mental wellbeing at the top of the list of priorities, Gillian believes companies will ultimately benefit from having well-rested employees who feel listened to and valued by their bosses.

Gillian said: “It is imperative that we remove the stigma attached to mental health. Our research shows around 40% of people with a mental health condition do not feel comfortable talking to their manager about it. This needs to change.

“Speaking openly about mental health can be a lifeline, that’s why we’re keen to see workplaces across the country sending staff on courses that will help them spot the signs when their colleagues are struggling.

it was great to get this feedback from our Mental Health Champion Delivery this week:

‘I really enjoyed the course yesterday so thank you both for delivering it so well and for giving us lots of practical things to think about and take away.’- Kate Gibson, MD, Gibson Games’

Times are changing. Great to have people climbing aboard. If you’re thinking about training get in touch for information and support: jenni@familyfocusuk.com or ase@familyfocusuk.com

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When does it start and how can we change the end?

It’s been all over media the last few days. Caroline Flack and her desperately sad ending to her life.

This is a person whose life was under scrutiny for many years and it finally took its toll. I guess there is only so much a person can take without taking desperate action and in Caroline’s case, this meant taking her own life.

How unbelievably desolate, hopeless and lonely she must have felt those last minutes or maybe hours, days, weeks or even years. How do we know how someone feels? What can we do as partners, parents, siblings, friends or colleagues?

This, I am sure is what thousands of people ask themselves every day in the UK.

There are approximately 18 suicides per day in the UK which will affect so many more than just the direct family. 75% of suicides completed are by men. The most are men in the age group 45-49 years old. The death rate for under 25s rose by 24% during 2018 and is even higher now.

These are frightening statistics and makes me wonder what is going on in our society?

I believe there is always hope and together we can make a difference. By talking openly about fears and feelings, being present and listening. Noticing changes and approaching in an appropriate way. Get to know our own feelings and acknowledge the need when it appears. Understand what works for us and encourage others to learn as well.

Start early by teaching our children about feelings and the importance of talking and listening. Improving and building our self-esteem is an ongoing process which is the base for so much of how resilient we are. Also known as fitness for the soul, it’s the basis of our wellbeing.

It takes a village to raise a child. Who or what are your resources? How can you get talking if you aren’t already? What’s stopping you?

www.familyfocusuk.com

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Does honesty in the workplace pay off??

Jeff (not his real name) has a high profile job. He is a senior leader in the organisation with a lot of direct reports. 

For the past year, Jeff has had a physiotherapy appointment every Monday morning and has gone away on two long-distance cycling trips, each lasting three weeks. 

For the rest of the time, he has been present at the office with almost no time off. 

He’s worked long hours choosing to arrive at the office early and leave late. 

But at the start of this year, Jeff has decided to change one thing. His silence.

Don't suffer in silence

He’s decided to speak up about his life – what’s really going on - and make a change.

You see, Jeff was never at the physio on a Monday. 

He was seeing a counsellor about his mental health concerns and in particular his feelings of depression. 

His long cycling trips were made-up stories. 

These were times when he was so low that he couldn’t face being in the office. 

On one of the ‘trips’, he had instead booked himself into a retreat to access support and care.

Why was Jeff not able to speak about this honestly? What barriers and stigma were in his workplace that kept him silent? 

Interestingly, with hindsight, Jeff became aware that he was contributing to the culture of silence in his workplace and realised that he needed to speak up.

So he did.

Jeff brought all of his staff, 190 people, into his circle and made a full disclosure on what he’s been dealing with. 

He held his hand up and said: “I’m battling to cope – all the secrecy and lies are adding too much anxiety and stress to my life.”

He was expecting resistance, rebuttal and recrimination. Instead, he received gratitude, support and a workplace that embraced his transparency and disclosure.

Where he had feared lack of respect, lack of support and a decline in productivity – he actually experienced the opposite. 

His honesty and ‘leading from the top’ allowed others in the organisation to come on board with their own issues and concerns and work together as a team to be the best they can be.

Mental health is something we all have. It is a dynamic, constantly changing state of mind and emotion and affects us all.

How can you help yourself and others to understand and cope with your mental health and wellbeing? What can you do in your workplace to promote positive mental health and reduce the stigma associated with depression, anxiety and other mental health issues?

You can start with knowledge and awareness. 

Learn as much as you can about these issues so that you feel better able to support yourself and others in need. 

Learn what you can do to make your workplace more inclusive and open to conversations around mental health. 

Equip yourself with skills and tools on how to cope and be mindful in this increasingly stressful world.

Family Focus UK's Ase Greenacre and Jenni Cole

Family Focus UK promotes and encourages wellbeing and mental health awareness in the workplace and privately.

It trains Mental Health First Aiders on a two-day fully accredited course with MHFA England. 

It also offers a ‘Champion’ for mental health (one-day training) or workshops on mental health awareness and self and team care in your workplace.

Your trainers will be Ase Greenacre and Jenni Cole, two highly motivated and knowledgeable facilitators with a wealth of experience in coaching, counselling and mental health. 

They are also parenting experts, mothers and wives and female business owners. 

Your session will be packed with activities, tips and tools, laughter and lots of learning.

There are so many things you can do. The trick is to do something. A good start is by signing up to one of Family Focus UK’s courses in Reigate, Surrey.

  • Mental Health First Aider (two days): Monday-Tuesday, February 17-18

  • Mental Health First Aid Champion (one day): Wednesday, February 26

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It's OK to visit the GP...right?

What goes into a decision to access your GP surgery? How ‘easy’ is it for you to decide to make an appointment to see a GP? Most people don’t ponder the decision for long, or think about the pro’s or con’s of getting a physical worry ‘checked out’ (of course actually getting an appointment is another thing!). So why is it that when we consider approaching a medical professional for help or advice with our mental health, we’re often slow to act; reluctant to take that step or weighed down by doubt, stigma or other barriers?

Åse and I are as passionate about our parenting work as we are about mental health and wellbeing - so when I came across this article it really resonated and I wanted to share it:

It’s by Lauren Seager-Smith, CEO of Kidscape

If a child’s mental health has been significantly impacted by cyberbullying what are the immediate steps that parents should take?

Go to your GP. If your child had a broken leg you’d be straight to A&E and mental health is no different. Don’t be embarrassed or scared. Bullying can cause anxiety and depression and the sooner you get help the better. Let your child know that you love them unconditionally and acknowledge how the bullying has made them feel. Be patient and create opportunities to connect – even if they’re quiet and withdrawn they need you more than ever.

Encourage them to break contact with the people that are hurting them and spend time (whether it’s face to face or online) with people that make them feel good about themselves. Gentle exercise each day like going for a walk can really help, and any activity that helps them feel calmer.

Help them think about other people that can be a support and encourage them to share how they’re feeling with these people even if they can’t talk to you. Talk together about what needs to happen for the bullying to stop and whether it is worth approaching their school or college for help. Let them know that this will pass and together you will get through it.

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Lauren reinforces that the medical profession is there to support and care for our mental health as much as our physical health - so reach out if you need to and ask for help.

More blogs and articles on http://www.familyfocusuk.com/wellbeing-blog

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Do I dare to or not?

How do we dare to be open and accepting of others and your own mental health issues? What does it take to feel comfortable with someone at work?

The fear of being judged is very real. The ‘what if’ can often show it self. Am I being looked at differently or treated differently? Do they trust me to do my job properly? Do they think I will be signed off work often?

This is all part of the change of the work and company culture within an organisation. When acceptance starts at the top, the likelihood of acceptance further down is more likely.

So, how can this be done? What does your workplace do at the moment?

According to Mind, if you do decide to tell your employer, think about:

  • How and when to do it. It can be helpful to have a note from your doctor to help explain your situation.

  • How much information you want to give. You don’t have to go into personal details, just focus on how your mental health problem impacts on your job.

  • Whom to share it with. For example, the human resources (HR) department may know your diagnosis, but they don't have to tell your supervisor or colleagues.

There are many people working towards enabling disclosure and openness the same way we talk about other illnesses or disabilities.

How good it would be to have an open discussion about all disabilities and have an understanding and empathy as the norm.

This is what Family Focus UK strives towards. We help companies support their staff to enable an open work culture for acceptance of differences and disabilities. Check out what we offer on: http://www.familyfocusuk.com/mental-health-awareness

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