We talk a lot about connection and the importance of feeling part of a shared space – and today, I wanted to talk about meal times.
We live in a world of instant gratification, of constant distraction and busyness. So what happens in your home around meal times? Are there shared spaces and connections made whilst eating a meal – or is meal time seen as a time to be tolerated and endured to simpy get through?
Meal times present and opportunity for you and your family!
Numerous studies have been done that show how sharing meals is integral to how your family functions and that it can aid closer relationships and build social and emotional skills for you and your child (ren).
Some positives that are encouraged when you sit down at eat together as a family include:
· Promoting a safe, secure space for your children that enourages attachment
· An opportunity for you to role model good behaviour and eating habits and pass these onto your child (ren)
· A great space to practice social interaction, chatting and conversation and in particular, that all impoartant skill of how to listen to each other in a supportive way
· Conflict resolution, patience and tolerance will also be needed at meal times and give your child (ren) a change to learn how to adjust, adapt and compromise
· A huge positive for everyone is that eating together and bonding over food reduces stress levels and releases the feel good chemicals such as dopamine and endorphins.
If you don’t normally eat together, try to implement times when you do eat together as a family. Start small with breakfast or lunch and build up to eating together as a family whenever possible. Remember it takes 21 days to form a new habit and 90 days for it to become a regular part of your lifestyle, so stick with a new ‘regime’ and build it up slowly into a habit and then a lifestyle. (the 21:90 rule!)
If you have teens (or pre-teens) give them ample warning about when dinner is. Set a time and stick to it. Institute a ‘rule’ that anytime after (say 5pm) if they are going onto an online game or race or activity that they can’t leave, they need to check with you first if they’ll be able to do this before dinner. Dinner together needs to be seen as a priority for your family and one that you all participate in.
Make it fun – allow kids to have a say in the menu; to cook some of the meal themselves; mix it up a bit at times (have breakfast for dinner one day!) and swap seats. Use mealtime to talk about your day e.g. ‘what is your highlight of your day’ and then ‘what is one question you didn’t get answered today’ and ‘tell us something new that happened today or tell us a joke’. If you run out of ideas, learn a new word from the dictionary every day or put ideas into a hat and pull out a series of questions that you’ve gathered from the internet! Teach those social skills!
Installing the habit of eating and forming connections over food is an essential component of wellbeing and you can start this today!
Enjoy!
Written by Jenni Cole
