Make a House a Home: Practical Tips for All the Family by Rebecca Clarke from The Writers Guild

Turning a house into a home isn’t an exact science. There isn’t a formula that gives you that feeling of contentment and comfort that only being at home gives you. However, what we do know is that a home is somewhere that you feel safe, surrounded by things that are important to you, where you are comfortable amongst the people that you love and where you can recharge your batteries to face the challenges of the next day.

The idea of being at home and feeling at home is important for everyone, and this is shown by the benefits of keeping elderly or sick people at home for as long as possible. According to Helping Hands – long-term care-givers, your home is somewhere that “you or your loved one will be surrounded by their own comforts, their own bed, their favourite mug, the neighbours they’ve known for years. This especially helps with progressive conditions that affect the memory such as dementia.”

If you have a family living in a home which crosses generations – maybe you have young children, teenagers or elderly people in your house, there are some practical challenges which need to be met – to both reduce the possibility of them coming to any harm, as well as give you peace of mind – and, of course, make everybody feel like they’re at home…

1.   Falls

Falling over is a common problem for both the elderly and young children. For many children falling over might result in a grazed knee or a bruised elbow, but for some, it can result in something worse. Falling over can be even more dangerous for older people especially if they have weaker bones or would struggle to get up.

If you have an elderly family member with eyesight problems, or maybe a teenager who is a little on the clumsy side, it is important to try to reduce the chance of falling over to happen. You should think about ensuring that spills are cleared up quickly and thoroughly, trying to keep plug cables and toys tidied away, ensure that stairs are kept clear, that you have a handrail on your stairs, use non-slip mats in the shower or bath – and grab bars in the toilet if you feel it necessary.

You should also think about fitting a stairgate if you have young children around – stairs can be very tempting but dangerous if they take a long tumble.

2.   Accessibility

One of the most important reasons why older people like to stay at home and younger people like to be at home is because they have the freedom to be independent and flexibility to be able to do what they want when they want. This means that things should be easily accessible to as many people as possible, comfortable and safe, and with only a few circumstances when additional help is needed.

It is important that, in your own home, for example, you can get to food or the toilet easily, adjust the heating, wash as easily as possible or be able to get things that are important to you. For some this might mean having food cupboards at a suitable level, widening doors if you are in a wheelchair or using smart thermostats or intercoms if people have mobility issues.

You should also be aware of what is and what isn’t reachable by little people. You might want to keep the storage of dangerous or breakable things out of the reach of children – or behind a child safety lock, and heavy items stored in a cupboard that is accessible and less likely to fall on top of you.

3.   Labelling

Curious children can find the alure of unknown substances too tempting not to drink or eat, so make sure that any harmful substances are kept out of their reach. Make sure that you label them properly so that there’s no mistaking a harmful substance for an unharmful one.

Elderly people who are confused or maybe have problems with their eyesight are also at risk of accidentally consuming a poisonous substance or the wrong medication, so make sure that everything is labelled clearly.

Turning a house from four brick walls into a home is about making it somewhere that everyone is comfortable and safe, regardless of their needs and individual requirements. By employing some of these small changes you can ensure that everybody feels good in the home, won’t come to any harm, and can relax, giving everyone a good quality of life.

I'm tired of New Year's Resolutions! You?

It’s 2020 everyone. Not only a new year but a new decade and the comments on social media are waxing lyrical about New Year’s Resolutions. I’m not sure how you feel about them, but in our household we’ve stopped using this terminology. It feels too cliched for the way we live today - the constant change and rapid development that is taking place around us - and our need to be actively present in our lives.

Åse and I are planning for our year ahead and one of the things we’re talking about is the ‘tick box’ exercise that a lot of Companies do with wellbeing in the workplace. For example, they go all out to provide input for their employees for ‘mental health awareness week’ (this year on 18 - 24 May) but then provide limited resources or continuing education for the remainder of the year.

Focusing on these types of awareness days/weeks is fantastic - and the more companies that get on board and support their employees the better - but we’d like to challenge you that ‘like’ New Year’s Resolutions, this is not a ‘one day, or one-week’ event but something that is revisited time and again and rolled out, changed and adapted throughout the year. Make your resolution to be continually present and responsive this year.

A great starting place is to train Mental Health First Aiders (fully qualified) or Mental Health First Aid Champions who work alongside employees every day and are essential as a listening ear and to signpost where needed.

Maybe you’ve training your staff already, but are in need of a refresher for them? Or have you considered continuing supervision or updates to support them in their MHFAider roles?

If this is on your radar or if you’re making plans for your L & D for 2020, give us a call. We have some very topical workshops/webinars that would be a great value-add for your organisation for this year.

Our next Mental Health First Aid Training Course is running locally in Reigate in February - why not come along and start your new year with a host of new learning and information?

jenni@familyfocusuk.com 07733-434143

Let’s travel the 2020 road together….

Connecting at Christmas

So, December is here and with that comes the office parties and other gatherings for a lot of people.

How inclusive are they, are you and the organisers sure everyones invited?

How do we make sure everyone in the company is included and made to feel welcome and part of the team? This is something that has been around for as long as I can remember. Some people are more popular and wanted than others.

As a human and co-worker, inclusion is so important. To be part of a group and thought of makes all the difference. Look around the office, who do you see? Do you know everyone and do most people join in?

There will always be people who don’t want to, and that is ok. However, there are those who would like to but don’t know how. Notice and make an effort! It feels good to be included and connect with others. There might even be a new friend to be made.

Unless we make an effort and try, a lot of the time things don’t happen. We think of it but don’t action.

This applies to those who feel left out as well, they also have to make an effort and try to connect. It can’t just depend on others action.

Another thing regarding connection, if you can, be extra generous to any homeless people you come across. To fathom not having somewhere to live, eat and sleep is so beyond how I live my life. It is heartbreaking to see.

Each person out there is someones son or daughter, partner, mother or father, sister or brother. What is their story? Give if you can, this will make a big difference.

https://centrepoint.org.uk/donate https://donate.salvationarmy.org.uk/

Waterpolo anyone?

Growing up in South Africa, water polo was part of our life and culture and I was thrilled when I was able to start a club at my son’s school.

It was fascinating watching a group of boys age 12 - 15 work out how to play. The physical side is a skill set they can learn - but it is the mental side of the game that is the journey.

It soon became apparent that the difference between playing well or poorly was closely linked to the brain matter between their ears. 

Players realised that how they made decisions and mentally executed them was critical.  Were they able to stay calm and composed when under pressure by the opposition?  Did they get too nervous and flounder the ball?   Could they stay focused and let everything else go?  Were they able to keep their concentration levels up for the whole game?  

 When mistakes were made, could they let them go and move on – get their head back into the next series of plays?  Who was letting anger and disappointment disrupt their play and who would berate their fellow players?  So much was seen and experienced in that pool!

 And then there was the social side.

Watching the team bond, watching communication happen and teamwork develop.  Seeing players develop resilience and resistance to opposition challenges.  Players learning how to stay centred and focused on their own game plan.   Seeing self-belief take shape and confidence grow

And the fun!

Waterpolo is fantastic fun. We have loads of laughter, horseplay and interaction throughout the session and watching players climbing out the pool, all I see is a sea of smiling faces.

If you’re not part of a team sport - think about joining one. It is such a positive experience and can have a profound impact on your mood and mental health. Exercise is one of the key ingredients for a healthy mind - and team sports adds another whole level of benefits.

There are so many options to consider -why not try one?

My son in action!

Assumptions and all that

We make assumptions all the time. It just happens and sometimes we catch ourselves out and question them. That is a good thing when it happens. Too many times we allow assumptions to get in the way of what actually is.

I read an article from a writer who had gone for a bike ride in central London. He found himself stopping to make some notes and suddenly a policeman comes up to him and says in a stern way ‘Is something the matter? Do you need help?’ He looked up, confused and realised he was in front of the US embassy, hence the policeman’s attention. He apologised and cycled on, stopping again a while later. This time he needed a rest as he was unfit and stood breathing heavily on the side of the road. An older man came up to him and asked in a concerned way if he needed help. He didn’t but it made him think of how, in a matter of an hour, he was seen as a potential threat or a possible heart attack victim. How different we are seen or see other people depending on who and where we are.

What can we learn from this kind of story?

I have become very aware of a lot of my own biases and assumptions and am working on questioning these as soon as they appear. Who is this person behind the facade? What do I actually know about them? What do I base my assumptions on?

Also, in every day situations assumptions are being made all the time, for example when driving. A car is driving in front of you and you assume they will continue straight ahead. Suddenly they slam on the breaks and want to turn. If you are too close, you will end up driving into them. We have to pay attention all the time and be prepared for unforeseen situations.

It’s easy to make assumptions as most of those times we have incomplete information about a situation or a person. There can also be an unwillingness to ask the questions we need to complete the information. So, in the absence of that information, we have to fill in the blanks ourselves.

Whenever we are in doubt, ask if possible. Clarifying and knowing is so much better!

This goes for any work situation as well. If unsure about who is doing what, ask. Don’t assume someone else is doing it. Dare to ask questions, that is how we learn!

Assumptions and biases are some of the topics in Family Focus UK’s workshops.

Check us out on:

www.familyfocusuk.com

The message is spreading...

I have just returned from a whirlwind trip to see my dad (now 87!) in Cape Town and was fortunate enough to spend time with a fellow mental health advocate. It was fascinating talking to him about what is happening in South Africa in terms of mental health awareness and how much work is starting to be done in Companies to support their employees’ mental wellbeing.

I must say, sitting opposite him telling him about the initiatives, projects, campaigns and events taking place in the UK made me so proud. There was so much to talk about what we are doing here to support and de-stigmatise mental health. In particular, projects such as The Leaderboard (https://inside-out.org/) the Princes’ Heads Together campaign (https://www.headstogether.org.uk/) and the incredible work of campaigners like Geoff McDonald with the Minds@Work Movement (https://www.mindsatworkmovement.com/ ) and charities and businesses.

If you haven’t already joined the force of change that is taking place in the UK - to start the conversation about mental health - do it today!

All it takes is caring about yourself and others; asking ‘how are you’ and really listening and being there to support someone who is struggling.

We work with Companies to support them with training and development in this area, so if you’re looking for ideas on what to do - get in touch with us.

Perhaps consider sending some of your staff on a Mental Health First Aid course to gain knowledge and skills to support your organisations wellbeing. Or give all of your staff a ‘Wellbeing Check-Up’?

The tidal wave of change has started and I’m thrilled to be part of the journey. Hope you’ll join us too.

Look out!

I have just been watching the news and a report about the decline in young peoples mental health. It is getting worse by the day. What can be done? How can we help?

One thing is to be aware and understand the signs of mental health issues and know how to approach someone.

Even better is preventative action. The earlier we start talking and creating a trusting relationship, the more we will be in a place to support and help. This involves being present and spending time with the people that matter.

Part of the problem in todays society is the lack of connection as more and more people spend too much time on line rather than talking and be together as families. This is one of the things that keeps on popping up when talking to youngsters, ‘My parents are always busy with other things like being on the their phones or laptops’ ‘They’d rather be online than with me’.

What this really says is that these children or people over all don’t feel significant and important enough to be seen and heard. This has a great impact on their self-esteem which get lower and lower unless dealt with.

Low self-esteem will lead to a person doubting themselves, not being good enough, not being worthy of love and attention. It can also lead to a person making decisions based on the need to be seen and loved rather than what is actually the best decision for them.

So, be aware, pay attention, put away those devices and be PRESENT!!

We are currently delivering MHFA training as well as other relevant topics within Mental health and emotional wellbeing.

For further information please go to:

www.familyfocusuk.com

World Cup Rugby Emotions!

What a weekend of emotion with the world cup rugby finals. In my household, we had allegiances to both teams, the country of our birth as well as our adopted country. I found myself getting really tearful at times, feeling so far away from my family and friends in South Africa, and thinking about how the rollercoaster of emotions that I’m experiencing must be echoed by so many people around the world.

Watching the coverage and social media after the result - seeing the elation, disappointment, humility and pride in so many players and spectators - it really hit home how much emotion is present at these events. How hard it must be for the players who work so hard to achieve goals, only to have to rise above their feelings to keep going in the face of defeat. It was humbling to watch and see the impact this had and to realise what incredible coping skills these players have. It’s called resilience.

Watching how the All Blacks bowed to the spectators and embraced the English team after their defeat in the semi-finals was a perfect example of ingrained resilience. It’s the ability to pick yourself up and face the next challenge. To ‘rise above’. The image here was captured at the end of the semi-final match when Savea (All Black), showed respect to England's Itoje. It must have been so hard to do!

Åse and I recently did a workshop with resilience at the core of the learning. We focused on the importance of optimism, a sense of humour and attitude to life. How this leads to feeling in control and coping with problems. How a support structure is so important and the underlying need for a strong sense of self and EQ. So many aspects to consider - each of them so important.

So with all the ups and downs and emotions of life (with or without the rugby!) - learn as much as you can about resilience. Teach yourself, teach your children and model the behaviour - it’s an essential life skill.

After the defeat Savea, left, showed respect to England's Itoje

ODD ANDERSEN/AFP/GETTY IMAGES

What's up? What do you need?

I’ve been thinking of communication, what we say and how we respond.

Do we really want to know how someone is when we ask ‘How are you?’ ? Or are they just words we say and don’t expect a proper answer?

I guess it depends on who we ask and where. There are definately situations where I really want to know how someone is and other times less so. To be asked and the person really means it, feels really good. The need to be heard is great and we don’t get to be heard often enough. How can this improve? How can we make time to actually show that we care about our family and friends?

Small gestures go a long way so even of we just send a text saying ‘thinking of you’ might make a big difference to someone. Putting a note in your child’s lunch box also shows care and love. It’s quite easy if we think about it and act.

A lot of people put up fronts that they are strong and don’t need help. A ‘I can do it myself’ attitude is also around and yes, maybe you can do it yourself, but sharing and accepting help feels even better!

The act of giving is enormously rewarding and if we don’t allow others to help, we take away that feeling for the person who is desperate to feel of use and want to help.

Who can you let in? Who can you help? How and when?

The 6 Human needs are in all of us and this is something we talk about at some of our workshops. When we understand these better and get where the behaviour is coming from, we can help the person and ourselves in a more effective and compassionate way.

For more information, have look at our website!

We are always happy to chat!

www.familyfocusuk.com

Mind breaking the silence with 'Goals Worth Talking About'

Have you heard about the new initiative that MIND (Mental Health Charity) has launched with the English Football League (EFL)?

On the back of World Mental Health Day 2019 last week with the focus on suicide awareness, they launched ‘Goals Worth Talking About’. The campaign worked alongside football in the knowledge that football is often an area of common ground and a great place to encourage men, in particular, to talk to each other.

“Football fans at a number of EFL Clubs across the country have voted for their club’s most iconic EFL moment; each of which is set to be immortalised as street art in their respective cities.

The murals will appear around the country with the aim of highlighting how football is often a conversation starter and the importance of talking when it comes to mental health support.

The aim is to improve the nation’s mental health and wellbeing and the approach to mental health in football.”

Paul Farmer Chief Executive of Mind said,

“We know that football and emotion go hand in hand. Football has the power to bring about real change. We hope that by harnessing the passion and emotion fans have about their clubs’ most significant goal through these fantastic pieces of street art, we can encourage more people to start up conversations about their emotions and ultimately their mental health too.”

What a great initiative and let’s hope this really gets men talking about their feelings and mental health and we can start to decrease the worrying suicide statistics.

It’s worth talking about!

World Mental Health Day 10th October 2019. Sleep and our mental health, they are very much connected.

As adults we should sleep 7-8 hours. Far too many of us don’t. Why is that? What affects your sleep? Can something be done about it?

The affect lack of sleep has on our overall wellbeing is immense. Focus at work or school becomes harder, risk of injuries increase and we can risk other peoples lives by becoming dangerous drivers. We jeopardise our health as risks for heart disease, obesity and diabetes increase. Our sex drive is also affected which in turn can affect our relationship with our partner.

The list goes on…

 So what can be done?

 We all know about routines, what is stopping some of us creating one? There are lots of tips on-line ex:

·      Relax in any way you can before going to bed. Ex. Bath, visualisation, deep, conscious breathing.

·      A good bed and pillows are worth investing in! Comfort is essential.

·      Tech-free time. Yes, turn off those screens at least an hour before bed time! Our brains need the rest.

·      Exercise, exercise and exercise. No time to do it? Prioritise it! If there is a will, there is a way!

·      Sometimes the cause is physical, seek medical advice.

·      Caffeine and alcohol are not the best to drink before bed time. Be aware of the amount drunk and when. Then change it!

 Other ideas are things like putting lavender oil on the pillow and using silk pillow cases and eye masks. My daughters swear by it!

 Journaling at the end of the day is something really good for our general wellbeing in either case. By writing in a nice note book, all the things going on in our heads, we help our minds and improve mental clarity to enable solving problems and overall focus.

 By sharing our thoughts on paper we can also become clearer in what we need to do, what is actually working or not. It’s a dialogue with ourselves that no one else is part of. 

 Taking care of our minds should be a priority for us all. How else can we be the best version of ourselves?!

Mental Health First Aid - what is it?

As we open up the discussions around mental health. more and more people are being trained to become Mental Health First Aiders.

What is a Mental Health First Aider?

It all started on a dog walk in Australia in 2000 when a nurse, teacher and counsellor called Betty Kitchener and her husband Tony Jorm (Professor at the University of Melbourne in mental disorders) came up with the idea together. They wanted to complement the physical first aid model and allow people to gain skills and knowledge to assist with mental health first aid to drive support into the community.

In 2007 MHFA launched in the UK through the Department of Health as part of a national approach to improve public mental health. There are now approximately 10 000 new first aiders trained each month in the UK and over 3 million trained in over 25 countries worldwide.

Why Train?

It gives you understanding, skills and a tool kit to be able to approach and listen to someone who is experiencing mental health concerns, understand how to give support and signpost them to both professional and personal help.

It’s a full 2 days of training that provides you with a wealth of knowledge, materials and resources to support yourself, those you love and others in the wider community or in your place of work.

Mental Health starts with you!

It’s never too late to learn, grow and gain new skills.

If you would like to find out how to train people in your organisation or community please get in touch: jenni@familyfocusuk.com 01737-224602

Connection and mental health

I just saw a lovely video online where a woman comes home and on the way, everyone she encounters are busy on their phones. No interaction takes place even in the lift going to her flat.

She then proceeds to bring her kitchen table into the communal hallway and sits down with her daughter to eat. Other neighbours arrive home and join in. Suddenly there is a big group and lots of talk and fun.

Here is the link: https://youtu.be/vDuA9OPyp6I

Wouldn’t it be good to do something like that more often? Joining in with others for impromptu meals and gatherings. Someone just have start and others will follow.

We have a few gatherings on our road every year and it is such a lovely way to get to know the neighbours. There is a street party every summer, a children’s play day in the autumn, a ladies night, Safari supper and other things through out the year. A great way to be connected to others nearby.

There are many people that are lonely around us. This is a problem in big and small communities and it affects our mental health in a detrimental way. We all need connection and feel a belonging whether it’s with neighbours, friends, work colleagues or clubs.

What can we do to be more present and create connection when and if needed? Are there people around us that are longing to belong?

Have a look around you and see what you can do. It all helps.

Enjoy!

National Suicide Prevention Day...10 September 2019

Today we are focusing on the worrying rates of suicides in the UK - and worldwide. In the UK 75% of suicides are by men with the age group 40 - 49 at the highest risk. Alarmingly the under 25 age group numbers of suicides has increased by 23.7% in the last year and overall suicides are up by 11.8%. Looking at statistics globally, the World Health Organisation figures show one person dies by suicide every 40 seconds.

6507 suicides were recorded in the UK in 2018 - more than road accidents and wars and we fear this number is probably higher due to the subjectivity in the law around the recording of the cause of death.

It’s extremely worrying and becoming far too prevalent.

Last week, during a delivery of a Mental Health First Aid course, I was speaking to a participant who shared that 3 friends had died by suicide in the last year. All under the age of 25.

It’s real and happening and we have to do something about it.

So what can you do? How can you help with ‘prevention of suicide’?

The most important things you can do are:

Notice other people. Don’t let things slide by. If you notice changes in behaviour or mood or appearances - ask that person how they are feeling. And ask with care, interest and purpose.

Connect with others. People who are considering suicide often feel isolated, alone and desperate. They feel overwhelmed with their thoughts, feelings, troubles and feel that they have ‘no way out’. By connecting with them (which simply means being present and focusing on them) they will not be alone and this may make a huge difference.

Listen to them. Don’t try and fix their problems, or tell them about how you’ve had similar worries, Just listen to them. Be there for them and show genuine care and support.

Encourage them to get support and professional help. There are so many organisations that offer fantastic services and support - a few are listed below:

Samaritans: for everyone  Call 116 123  Email jo@samaritans.org www.samaritians.org

Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM): for men Call 0800 58 58 58 – 5pm to midnight daily

Papyrus: Prevention of Young Suicide) under 35 Call 0800 068 41 41 – Mon to Fri 10am to 10pm, weekends 2pm to 10pm, bank holidays 2pm to 5pm  Text 07786 209697 Email pat@papyrus-uk.org

Childline:  for children and young people under 19 Call 0800 1111  www.childline.org.uk

The Silver Line:  for older people Call 0800 4 70 80 90

CALM: (Campaign Against Living Miserably)  0800 58 58 58 www.thecalmzone.net 

The Mix:  Under 25’s  freephone 0808 808 4994 (1 – 11pm) www.themix.org.uk

YoungMinds: Crisis Messenger free, 24/7 mental health crisis support text YM to 85258

And take care of yourself too!

Weak ties or acquaintances, they are all important!

I read an interesting article recently where they talked about the ‘weak ties’ in our lives. I had never heard that expression before. A weak tie is basically acquaintances or contacts we might have met or spoken to for whatever reason, but don’t really know. Think business contacts, LinkedIn contacts, choir members, fitness club members, pub regulars etc. They can also be old friends that we lost touch with apart from that Christmas card every year.

A strong tie is what is says, someone you are close to and know well. Family or friends that care about you and you care about them.

These weak links connect us with other people indirectly or directly. When we isolate ourselves by just socialising and meeting the same group of friends all the time, we miss out on new experiences and knowledge that different people can share with us.

Diversity and change is good in life. Pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones might be scary but it generally pays off!

By chatting to other people and being friendly, we also become happier people as one of our human needs is connection. It feels good to be greeted by my name in the coffee shop or newsagent or bumping in to neighbours on the road. We all need to be seen as a human being.

How do you connect with people? Are you friendly with your neighbours? The newsagent? The butcher or greengrocer? Other parents at your kids school?

All these connections matter to our wellbeing. They can also be very useful for our professional lives.

Weak ties might bring us new information about job opportunities or new connections into other vital areas of our business. The relationship with our weak ties needs to be maintained, bringing our networks together to enable information between the different parts of our networks. This information can become the information we need to advance in our own work, or it might be recommendations and information to get us the job opportunity we've been looking for.

Maintenance is a big part of all of this. Remembering and acknowledging people we meet is one thing. Welcoming and friendly no matter what kind of day we are having is another. It’s how we make other people feel that they will remember!

Senior Leaders challenge...

We are thrilled to support the minds@work movement - ‘a movement for mental wellbeing in the workplace’. They have just released an appeal for ‘senior leader at Board level who is ready to inspire others with their story of recovery from mental illness’. This supports the notion that in order for things to happen or to change, it needs to be led from the top. http://www.mindsatworkmovement.com/

We have the utmost respect for Rob Stephenson who has initiated the leaderboard through his platform InsideOut. They are a social movement that is getting a lot of momentum. They task ‘senior leaders to share their stories so that employees feel more comfortable in also speaking about mental ill-health’ https://inside-out.org/leaderboard/

More and more organisations are prioritising mental health as it is the leading cause of absenteeism and presenteeism in the workplace. The Centre for Mental Health states that mental health problems cost UK workforces almost £35 billion last year. It’s no longer something that can be ignored and putting wellbeing and mental health firmly on your organisations agenda is a must.

A good starting point is to train Mental Health First Aiders and Champions who can lead the culture change in your organisations. As mentioned above, the best possible route is for senior leaders to step forward to support this plan and to ensure that some senior leaders and line managers receive training. In addition, it’s a great idea to run a Mental Health Awareness session for all employees so that your entire organisation is on the same page at the same time and the buy-in from the top filters down with the same message for all.

If you’re not sure what to do to start this process, give us call. We can do a needs analysis for your organisation as well as provide you with a variety of training options to cover both mental health and wellbeing. Or perhaps you’d like to start with training Mental Health First Aiders or organising a refresher and supervision session for those already qualified?

There are 2 important dates coming up:  Suicide Prevention Day on the 10th September and World Mental Health Day 10 October. It would be great to launch a training plan to coincide with these events.

Either way, we’re here to help so give us call to see how we can support you and your organisation.

http://www.familyfocusuk.com/ 07720-591857 (Åse) 07733-434143 (Jenni)

Teenagers and summer parties....?

It’s the summer - school’s out and parties reign. If you are the parent of teenagers you may be faced with the questions, worries and challenges of allowing your teenagers the freedom to socialise and gain independence, whilst keeping their safety as a top priority.

I read a really heartbreaking post on facebook last week about a dad who’s lost his 19 year old son to a ‘bad’ pill that he took at a concert (https://www.facebook.com/scott.c.maney) . This was the last thing he’d expected as he had no idea his son would participate in recreational drugs. This leads to the question of how we protect our children from negative influences, the unsuspecting spiking of drinks, the peer pressure. It’s a challenge all parents face - but particularly those with teenagers.

We believe that the skills to navigate teenager years starts a lot earlier. By building blocks of communication, values and beliefs that are embedded in your family and your child from their early years. The rules of thumb of kindness, consistency, consequences and communication. Use these well and wisely throughout childhood and you’ll have a head start on the teenage years.

We love the teachings of Maggie Dent and she speaks in this vlog about how important a teenagers’ temperament is in their navigating the stressors of teenage years:-

https://www.maggiedent.com/blog/roosters-lambs-as-teenagers/

On a more practical note here are some tips as your teens head out to parties:-

1. Make sure you and they have the address of where they are going on their phone and on their body.

2. Have a ‘safe word’ that they can text you or say for to collect them so that they can save face with their peer group

3. Make sure they have money for a cab or the uber app on their phone set up

4. Discuss how to keep safe with them before they leave (keeping the focus on your love and care of them - not ‘rules’) Be sure to mention opening drinks themselves and not accepting anything from strangers.

5. Talk to other parents and make sure you’re all on the same page about pick up times etc

6. If they are going to drink alcohol, buy it yourself and have them take it along with them to be sure of what they’re drinking!

7. Try and download an app that lets you track them eg Life360

8. Talk talk talk - and be there for your teen

We are here to help. We run workshops that are specifically for parents of teens and how to cope with the stressors of having teenagers - plus how to help your teens cope with their stress and mental health worries! Contact us to find out more.

Should all Workplaces have a Mental Health First Aider?

Åse and I are now offering Mental Health First Aid Training and we have had some interesting discussions lately with potential clients about the ‘need’ for a MHFAider and the role that this individual should have in an organisation.

MHFA England is working hard to de-stigmatise mental health in the UK by encouraging workplaces and individuals to engage in mental health first aid training. Their hope is to raise awareness of mental health issues as well as improve the literacy levels of everyone around mental health topics while boosting confidence to both recognise and respond to concerns.

MHFA England’s website promotes:-

“Two Day - Mental Health First Aiders

A practical skills and awareness course designed to give you: −

• A deeper understanding of mental health and the factors that can affect people’s wellbeing, including your own

• Practical skills to spot the triggers and signs of mental health issues

• Confidence to step in, reassure and support a person in distress

• Enhanced interpersonal skills such as non-judgmental listening

• Knowledge to help someone recover their health by guiding them to appropriate support”

Some people are arguing that a simple 2 day training course is not enough. We tend to agree. We feel that there needs to be built in support (similar to counselling supervision) for all participants who qualify as Mental Health First Aiders. To allow them to keep up to date with recent trends and news in the mental health world, as well as have a support group and mentoring system to offload concerns or get advice about situations they encounter.

Luckily, most of the clients we speak to agree, and we’re able to support them through both the training and supervision/mentoring process.

Just as having a medical ‘First Aider’ is compulsory for companies, there are calls for mental health first aid to be part of legislature. At present, this is in discussion but is not mandatory:-

“The Health and Safety Executive (HSE) have enhanced its First Aid guidance to help employers understand the existing need to consider mental health alongside physical health when undertaking their ‘needs assessment’. There has, however, been no legal change to make mental health first aid-type training mandatory.”

For us, any forward motion is good news and a great place to begin is just starting to talk about mental health and if having a first aider will work for your workplace.

So give us a call if you want to find out more about what’s involved. Lots of Companies are getting on board - how about you?

www.familyfocusuk.com

Mental ill health in the workplace. How is it handled at your place of work?

It is great to read about the steps a lot of companies are taking towards supporting their staff with mental ill health. Any step is better than nothing, however, one week a year doesn’t do it. So many companies have their wellbeing week and that is it. What about the support the rest of the year?

The stigma surrounding mental ill health is still prevalent in the majority of companies. According to the research, employees struggling with mental health or other wellbeing issues are unable to concentrate on their job, a symptom known as “presenteeism,” for more than a third of the total scheduled work time (54.95 hours). This adds up to about eight total days per month, and more than twice as much as the typical “healthy” employee. These employees are also absent from work for an average of 7.36 hours per month – almost one full working day and about 5% of all work time.

An employee would rather talk about their stomach bug and their effects than mental health issues!!

To enable communication between managers and staff is vital, in many cases, a matter of life or death.

Thriving at work – a major report on mental health and employers, commissioned by Prime Minister Theresa May – quantifies the impact of mental ill health in the workplace. Poor mental health costs employers between £33bn and £42bn a year. This is in addition to an estimated £37bn to £52bn cost to the economy in lost output and £25bn cost to the government due to reduced tax intake, NHS treatment costs and poor health-related welfare payments.

Placing wellbeing at the core of your HR strategy is the first step to building a mentally healthy workplace. The following checklist can help you and your business to achieve this.

Workplace culture – Build an environment that is open, transparent and empathetic by allowing for flexible working, social outings and more. Openly acknowledge key resources out there such as those from charities including Mind, Rethink and Anxiety UK.

Role modelling – Normalise mental health issues by sharing personal stories, preferably from the top.

Work/life balance – Establish and enforce boundaries at work so your employees know that after work hours are theirs to unwind and disconnect from the daily grind.

Physical wellbeing – Whether by setting up cycle to work schemes in place or something as simple as a running club or meditation hour, try to introduce physical activities as part of your company’s work life. This will give your team the option to incorporate physical well-being into their lives as well.

Peer support and mentoring – It can be hard to open up to colleagues (or worse—your boss!), so by introducing peer counselling you could set the scene for your employees to connect with colleagues in a way that gives them permission to open up and connect over shared experiences. Mentoring programmes where senior members of staff take juniors under their wing could also help create rapport and start a dialogue where they can be their authentic selves at work.

Build strong communications platforms – Internal communication isn’t just a large company’s game. Even when running a startup you can keep the lines of communication open and transparent. Whether it’s through messaging channels like Slack or a weekly meeting, keep everyone on your team in the loop about major work changes to ease their transition. It’s also a great opportunity to praise employees and give kudos when deserved.

Monitor absences – Absences can be a dead giveaway that things may not be smooth sailing for your employees. If an employee is absent or late frequently, it should raise questions about their wellbeing. This could present the opportunity to start an open dialogue about what’s not working for them at work.

Seek employee feedback – Adopt frequent wellbeing checks through formal surveys or informal one-to-one meetings to keep the channel of communication open both ways. Using the data you gather can help you understand where your wellbeing strategy may have gaps from the perspective of your employees.

Review all of your policies at least once a year – Using feedback and monitoring progress of particularly vulnerable employees can help you stay accountable and reinforce your company’

Family Focus UK provide Mental Health awareness workshops and Mental Health First Aid courses amongst other topics. To find out more please go to:

www.familyfocusuk.com

For the full article which was published in Business Advice, please click here:

https://businessadvice.co.uk/hr/employment-law/sme-employers-mental-health/?utm_source=ba_newsletter&utm_medium=main&utm_campaign=ba_newsletter_28668&utm_content=ba_story_standard&utm_source=ActiveCampaign&utm_medium=email&utm_content=A+bad+hire+could+cost+your+business+£132%2C000%21&utm_campaign=BA+Newsletter+Daily+15%2F07%2F2019