I have just got back from Sweden where I have had, for the first time in years, 3 weeks of family and friends time. It’s been so good for both body and soul to be away and reconnect.
I have lived abroad since 1984 when I left Sweden as an 18-year-old. I took the train to Zurich - over 24 hours of travel… When I arrived there, my au pair ‘mum’ met me at the station and we took the tram to the flat where I lived for a year. I didn’t know anyone at all and at first, it was tough. I also thought I could speak German reasonably well. Little did I know that the dialect in Zurich was a totally different language. I eventually learnt that as well so I actually gained 2 languages!
Being away from family and friends forces you to reach out to other people and throughout the years I have made many new friends. It takes time to connect and feel close to someone and sometimes it turns out that a person is not right after all. To feel connected and know that a friend truly is a friend feels good. I could not have stayed away from my Swedish home without the friends I have made.
I do have my own family here who I love immensely and for which I am so grateful, however, life would not be complete without friends.
So how do we make friends? Why do some people have lots, some none and some a few?
It is said that we only have a handful of people in our lives that we are truly close to. Who accept us for who we are, both good and bad. If you are lucky enough to have that, make sure you cherish them and show them that you care and need them in your life.
We can take many things in life for granted and not show enough that someone is important.
I just received a bouquet of flowers unexpectedly from a dear friend who just wanted to show she was thinking of me. I said goodbye to another dear friend last week so receiving this today lifted my spirits and I feel grateful and sad at the same time.
What are your needs? Who have you got in your life that you appreciate but don’t show it very often? Are you perhaps lonely without friends to turn to?
One thing I know is that in order to meet and make friends, I had to make an effort. Reach out, talk to people and not give up. Sometimes it took time and I despaired but it paid off.
Joining clubs, activities, churches and interacting with neighbours are all good ways to meet people.
Connection and belonging is even more important after the pandemic so look around, reach out and be that friend you need to someone else.
