There is a lot of information around for helping a family dealing with grief. This is very important and I hope families use these resources. In order for the family to get through death, it needs to be talked about and try to accept the different way we deal with this.
Like with most blows that life deals us, information and awareness is key. Communication needs to be there, involving the children and making them part of the decisions being made.
We can't protect them when such a tragedy happens. They need to be informed a long the way of the feasible outcomes if that is possible. This way they can prepare in their own way and also know they can ask questions.
Never make promises we can't keep. If our children ask us, 'will you die?' Never say, no. We simply don't know what is around the corner. Reassure and say you will do your very best to stay alive and fight what ever is going on.
If a death is sudden, shock will affect everyone differently. Yet again, talk about it and let out any anger and fears. If not with the family members or friends, find a therapist or group. Holding things back will not help. Children will also have these fears and be angry and that can come out in many different ways like aggression, bed wetting, becoming very attached or withdrawn. Make sure there is support for all of the family. No need to be the 'strong' one. Everyone need help at times.
Above all, hug, hold and love each other as much as possible. Together we can get through, alone will be so much harder.
Below are a list of useful contacts and websites
Childline
National helpline for children
www.childline.co.uk
CRUSE
Bereavement care for adults
www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk
Childhood Bereavement Network
Information and advice on bereavement services nationwide
www.childhoodbereavementnetwork.org.uk
HOPElineUK 0870 170 4000
Support, practical advice and information to anyone concerned that a young person they know may be at risk of suicide
National Children’s Bureau – Childhood Bereavement Network
Information, and advice bereavement services nationwide
www.ncb.org.uk/cbn/directory
Papyrus
A website to help young people who may be thinking about suicide
www.papyrus-uk.org
Jigsaw, Supporting children through the loss of a loved one
http://www.jigsawsoutheast.org.uk/
Parentline Plus
Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide
www.sobs.admin.care4free.net
The Compassionate Friends
Organisation to support parents who have lost a child of any age
www.tcf.org.uk
The Way Foundation
Organisation to support young widows
www.wayfoundation.org.uk
At a Loss
Charitable movement of people across the UK who are passionate about enabling the bereaved to receive the support that they need
www.ataloss.org
